Confession

Yoga teachers are clean eating, spiritually grounded, daily-yoga practicing individuals who lead a stress-free life.

Ha.

Couldn’t be further from the truth.  I am always amused when a student believes this is a yoga teacher’s lifestyle.  And they are always stunned when I tell them the truth.  We are complicated messes, just like everybody else.  Here are some confessions of a yoga teacher:

Amnesia

Unless you are teaching the same sequence every class (and some do), all of us have experienced the complete wiping of our memory mid-class.  Whether we created a complicated standing sequence on one side and couldn’t remember on the other, or we had to switch something up immediately based on who was in the class, the sudden blank spot can get the best of us.  Instead of just standing there, staring into the void, we will throw you into Child’s Pose.  It is the perfect position that allows you to rest while we get our shit together.  Or Downward Facing Dog. 

We are Feet Obsessed

No.  We don’t care about your nail polish or callouses.  I don’t even see that.  What I am looking for is engagement.  I am looking for rooting down, grounded feet with energy moving up the legs.  This alignment can keep related body parts (ankles, knees, hips) safe from injury.  We also look at your feet to make sure you are engaging from all parts of the foot.  The four corners.  The lift from the arch to engage the ankle.  Are you rolling your arches in or out?  All of this affects the engagement of the muscles in your legs.   Flexing your feet when told, will activate those muscles that we want you to feel and build.  All of this is for strength, safety, and to experience the true nature of that specific asana.

Stretch vs. Strength

We don’t care that you are not flexible.  Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time someone told me they are not flexible, I could retire today.  Unless you were born with hyper-flexibility/mobility (and trust me, this is not a gift), every single one of us has a part of our body that is tight.  It is tight for a reason.  Your surrounding muscles are not strong enough to support that stretch safely.  I would rather see you doing the asana safely as a more subdued version instead of you straining to get into the full expression of the pose, compromising alignment.

The Importance of Savasana

Personally, I believe Savasana (Corpse Pose) is the most important pose of the practice.  But it was the hardest pose for me to master.  The process of truly letting go, fading into complete relaxation is difficult for many and I was one of them.  This is why in many classes, Savasana is an afterthought, a mere way to end a class.  It is true, some teachers will only have you in Savasana for a few minutes at the end of practice, preferring to pack the class with more active poses.  But for me, to truly experience the benefits of being still, you need to be in the pose for a minimum of 10 minutes.  I am watching you when you are in this pose, noticing if you are fully relaxed.  Some of you will be stiff as a board, eyes open staring at the ceiling.  And that is ok too as it takes time to sink deep into this flat on your back asana, with your legs externally rotated, arms out slightly, palms turned up, with your eyes closed.  If you fall asleep and snore, then we have done our job.  If you don’t like being flat on your back, sitting in meditation is always welcome.

Spiritual Gangster

Many of you show up on the mat for exercise.  Many of you show up for the community.  Many of you are tapping into the divine.  Most of you have found that whatever motivated you to show up for class initially, has changed.  All of it is good.  I don’t care if you have read the Sutras.  I don’t care if you have not read them either.  My goal is not to make you more spiritual.  That is intensely personal and is your own path, if that is your path.  Have I read the Sutras?  Yep.  Am I going to test your knowledge?  Nope.  Am I meditating every day, trying to get closer to the true path of yoga?  That is none of your business.  Really.  It isn’t.  My job is to show up to class, make sure you are safe, and hold the space for you to explore whatever you want to explore.  The best place to be is on the mat.  Just be.  See what happens.

We are All Vegans

When I meet someone new, outside of the studio, and I tell them I teach yoga, the second most popular statement I hear is “You must be vegetarian/vegan.”  (First is, “You must be really flexible.”)

Then the shock washes over their faces when I say I eat meat.

Yes, I do.  When I feel my body needs it.  I was a vegetarian for over a decade, but later came to the realization that for my body, I need to eat meat every once in a while.  This could be 1x a week or 1x a month.  Yes, I adhere to a plant-based diet most of the time.  I also have been known to binge on copious amount of sugar and nacho cheese chips.  My diet can go to hell in a single day.  Most of us are acutely aware of our bodies and are very insecure about them as well.  Just like you. 

Oh, and I am incomplete without cheese.

Speaking of Insecure…

We worry.  Most of us want you to have the best experience possible in our class.  And we are aware that you are paying for this experience.  Here is a running list of what I am thinking about while I am teaching you:

• Is the sequence I created going to reach every person in the class?

• Is the sequence too hard?

• Is it too easy?

• Is everybody safe? (I am always looking at alignment for your body)

• Is the room too hot?

• Is the room too cold?

• Is the person who is in the sunspot, being blinded or overheated?

• Is that person who went to the bathroom for the 3rd time, ok?

• Does the class like the music I selected today?

• Did I cue correctly?

• Did I just say “Should”, “supposed to”, “you need to?”

• Is someone’s cell phone going to ring?

• Did I turn my phone onto Do Not Disturb?

• Do they hate me?

So while you may be thinking that we are judging your yoga abilities (we are not…we are watching you to keep you safe), questioning why you are here (we love that you are here for whatever reason), or if we like you (yes, we do!), we have our own litany of worries going on…

We Can’t Do All of the Poses

Well, maybe some can and that is great.  I know for myself, there are poses I can’t or won’t do.  It is either something that my body can do but I know it is not good for my body, or my body just won’t go there.  I have an SI Joint that likes to mess with me.  Some days I will avoid hip openers and deep revolved poses to keep it intact and happy.

I love my job

I started down this path as a way to enhance my practice, diving deeper into asanas, philosophy and pranayama.  Teaching was truly not the end goal, yet here I am.  Spending the bulk of my days working my insanely busy start up healthcare IT job (code for GEEK); creating yoga sequences, music playlists, and teaching taps into my creative side.  Even if I am tired, wiped out from my day, going into the studio to teach I am home.  I love every single part of it.  The energy I receive from teaching a group fills my soul every single time.